Once I was afraid I was petrified, thinking I could never live without you by myside....
I love music, don't you? Almost anything you can feel, there's a song that just fits that emotion.
So when you get the diagnosis of cancer guess what? This song ringing in your ears is what you hope to hear. Imagine singing these words to a breast that may have helped you find a husband, fed your children and now well they want to take it leaving you a bit off kilter. So even tho' this song sarts out with the bare bones honesty of admitting fear - it is an amazing anthem of persistance, a battle cry, a committment to victory, I will survive.
When you take a deep breath and get ready to fight you want to hear the theme from that famous boxing movie set in Philly, "yo you dnow, dat wun". After the first dose of chemo you want to hear something from a frat party movie where throwing up was the goal of the evening and for some reason you thought it was funny when you woke up with your head shaved. (Not that that ever happened to ME!)
Anyway like I said you gotta start somewhere and I guess the reason I am blogging and the reason I started with a weightloss program stems from my survival of cancer twice.
There's a process I went through getting acquainted with the idea of dying from cancer even tho' I was doing everything I could to get well. I have a bit of a theatrical side and so I romanticized dying with my family around me, softly sniffing wishing they had been nicer to me, telling me how much they loved me and the theme from Brian's song playing softly in the back ground. Then just before the actual moment of death I would whisper in each child's ear,"you were my favorite". But NOOOooooo!, I survived. And I mean no disrespect to those who did not survive, I salute their effort to fight and to die on their own terms and I am sorry for their families who might read this and deem me selfish for feeling this way when I have been given a second chance at life - and I agree! It is terribly selfish. I just have no idea why God saved my sorry self when other much more valueable people have gone home. So on the advice of a friend I have begun a blog. I can only hope that someone can be encouraged by it or at least laugh. I know my sweetest secret joy is being responsible for someone's laughter. And who knows maybe that laughter will truly be a cancer patient's (or diet-er's) best medicine. So put the lime in the coconut....(that is the only medical song I could think of)
I recently, became reaquainted with a friend from high school. He is a motivational speaker in training, I think. I mentioned I had lost 32lbs this year and he encouraged me to continue and I one day would be the size I wanted to be. And I said,"Can you imagine? I'll be over 50 but my boobs will only be 10! I'll look great!" The truth of the matter is the Oncology Doctor told me that my best chances of prevention were to get off of the high risk list - I dont smoke, I don't use alcohol, I don't work around carcinogens, but Obesity is on the list of risk factors for almost ALL types of cancer. So....it's time. I was a cheerleader in High School, 135-140 when I got married, then baby one took me to 160, with baby two I managed to get back to 156 two weeks after she was born. I wasn't happy with 156 tho' and dieted down to 140. two years later 160 again, then easily gained 10 - 20lbs each year after that until I weighed 300+ when I got the first diagnosis. Up to 337 my highest point during the second diagnosis. (both times I thought having Cancer would make me skinny, nope). Somewhere between the comic that cant get any respect and the rocker who cant get any satisfaction I am dancing my way OFF the high risk list. Oh and I follow a program that an academy award winning actress singer follows, the one that uses points. A girl has to have a plan, right.
SO I will try to be here atleast once a week. "Thanks....... for the time....... that you've gi-ven me.." Ahh Music, there's always a song for everything. G
I love music, don't you? Almost anything you can feel, there's a song that just fits that emotion.
So when you get the diagnosis of cancer guess what? This song ringing in your ears is what you hope to hear. Imagine singing these words to a breast that may have helped you find a husband, fed your children and now well they want to take it leaving you a bit off kilter. So even tho' this song sarts out with the bare bones honesty of admitting fear - it is an amazing anthem of persistance, a battle cry, a committment to victory, I will survive.
When you take a deep breath and get ready to fight you want to hear the theme from that famous boxing movie set in Philly, "yo you dnow, dat wun". After the first dose of chemo you want to hear something from a frat party movie where throwing up was the goal of the evening and for some reason you thought it was funny when you woke up with your head shaved. (Not that that ever happened to ME!)
Anyway like I said you gotta start somewhere and I guess the reason I am blogging and the reason I started with a weightloss program stems from my survival of cancer twice.
There's a process I went through getting acquainted with the idea of dying from cancer even tho' I was doing everything I could to get well. I have a bit of a theatrical side and so I romanticized dying with my family around me, softly sniffing wishing they had been nicer to me, telling me how much they loved me and the theme from Brian's song playing softly in the back ground. Then just before the actual moment of death I would whisper in each child's ear,"you were my favorite". But NOOOooooo!, I survived. And I mean no disrespect to those who did not survive, I salute their effort to fight and to die on their own terms and I am sorry for their families who might read this and deem me selfish for feeling this way when I have been given a second chance at life - and I agree! It is terribly selfish. I just have no idea why God saved my sorry self when other much more valueable people have gone home. So on the advice of a friend I have begun a blog. I can only hope that someone can be encouraged by it or at least laugh. I know my sweetest secret joy is being responsible for someone's laughter. And who knows maybe that laughter will truly be a cancer patient's (or diet-er's) best medicine. So put the lime in the coconut....(that is the only medical song I could think of)
I recently, became reaquainted with a friend from high school. He is a motivational speaker in training, I think. I mentioned I had lost 32lbs this year and he encouraged me to continue and I one day would be the size I wanted to be. And I said,"Can you imagine? I'll be over 50 but my boobs will only be 10! I'll look great!" The truth of the matter is the Oncology Doctor told me that my best chances of prevention were to get off of the high risk list - I dont smoke, I don't use alcohol, I don't work around carcinogens, but Obesity is on the list of risk factors for almost ALL types of cancer. So....it's time. I was a cheerleader in High School, 135-140 when I got married, then baby one took me to 160, with baby two I managed to get back to 156 two weeks after she was born. I wasn't happy with 156 tho' and dieted down to 140. two years later 160 again, then easily gained 10 - 20lbs each year after that until I weighed 300+ when I got the first diagnosis. Up to 337 my highest point during the second diagnosis. (both times I thought having Cancer would make me skinny, nope). Somewhere between the comic that cant get any respect and the rocker who cant get any satisfaction I am dancing my way OFF the high risk list. Oh and I follow a program that an academy award winning actress singer follows, the one that uses points. A girl has to have a plan, right.
SO I will try to be here atleast once a week. "Thanks....... for the time....... that you've gi-ven me.." Ahh Music, there's always a song for everything. G
2 comments:
yes, you made me laugh and wanted to cry also, but what you did the most? Is inspire me to also shed the weight that has haunted me for years. You area amazing Geri!!! God bless you and I will be celebrating the victory that God has already given you and for the courage to continue on the road to freedom. Freedom from being uncomfortable to move, freedom to walk with out pain, freedom to know you are honoring the temple that God has given us for our time in this temporary home...Love you my friend/Susan
Geri, I want to say first that I'm glad you are my friend. I also want to wish you luck in this (avdenture!) endeavor. From Missy.
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