Wow, I must apologize for such a long pause in the blogging business. I have very good reasons but, alas, remorse as well.
Just as summer came to the Northwest I broke my right ankle. I wish I could tell you That was the end of my adventures in the recliner but it wasn't.
Two weeks ago I finaly had a lump removed off of my left heel. No cancer. I was pretty sure there wasn't any cancer before because I remember stepping on a piece of glasss in 2010. The lump was likely my body trying to surround that piece of glass with scar tissue to make it easier to walk on, it didn't.
Recovery has been rough for a few reasons just one of them being that I am overweight withoutthe upper body strength to lift myself up from a sitting position to a standing position without the help of both legs. During recovery I can not put any of my weight on the left foot.
Walking is a big deal.
Amen? Yes, amen.
It never occured to me prior to surgery that I would need special support to get out of a chair, or use the restroom. I am so thankful for my devoted hubster who asked the right questions and within a few hours I had everything I needed. I am truly thankful.
During this time my garden hit harvest, thus the tomato aroma in my home, my son and daughter moved to Arizona, and my little dogs moved outside. There will be two more large changes in my future that the mere anticipation thereof has me up tomight.
My grandaughter will also be moving to Arizona. Andi was born just 30days before I was diagnosed with Breast cancer for the second time. As a chemo patient I can't tell you how amazing it was to hold her, kiss her little head and make her smile - it was life affirming love!
I got through treatment ~ she turned 1!
I got stronger and lost weight ~ she turned 2!
We all went through a family crisis ~ she turned 3!
Now, a new job, a new life, and she'll be so far away. Our friends may enjoy the break from weekly photo floods on facebook, but I will be trying to figure out how to take a screen shot of a skype conversation that made me cry. Because I will cry. I cried tonight.
God help me, I know there are people with problems that are real problems. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, family and friends. I am not afraid of being cold this winter, or of losing my house or having my car reposessed.
I am afraid of this feeling of not knowing who I am if I am not my kids' mom, or Andi's grandma. And yes, I know I am still those things but without the duties of either it seems empty today.
I am afraid I am now going to spend the rest of my years paying for taking improper care of this vessel, and that the price will be discomfort, embarrassment and likely pain.
So tonight, as the house is filled with the pungent aroma of slow cooked homegrown tomatoes, I am up. Sharing my thoughts with you.
I thought about flight today, and how it's so different from jumping. No matter how long you are in the air, or from what you have been launched, jumping is not flying. And, . .
No matter how short of a flight, it is flying when it has all the components of flight. The Wright brothers first flight was merely seconds, but boy it was quite different from a jump, it changed the world.
When we recognize the components of flight, in the simplest terms, as lift and drag, we can see how a jump attempts to have those, but always obtains them separately. When one is launched it is lift, then when gravity takes over it is drag.
But flight, oh flight is something different. Flight maintains both lift and drag simultaneously. The combination of the two creates flight. Take one away midflight and you might maintain "air" for a certain amount of time but just as in a jump you will begin to fall. You are no longer flying you are falling.
I am sure that I will discover more about flight as I ponder lift and drag but what I am seeing right now is: Both elements are needed to fly in this life. It is easy to think of things that can be analagous to drag: empty nesting, getting older, broken ankles, etc. Lift, I am not as sure, but admiting to my puny understanding I will say: worship, serving others, prayer, reading the bible, maybe even the smell of homegrown tomatoes becoming pasta sauce, and love.
Embrace the lift and drag of life with the right perspective and flight is achieved.
This I believe, thanks for reading, New Geri
Just as summer came to the Northwest I broke my right ankle. I wish I could tell you That was the end of my adventures in the recliner but it wasn't.
Two weeks ago I finaly had a lump removed off of my left heel. No cancer. I was pretty sure there wasn't any cancer before because I remember stepping on a piece of glasss in 2010. The lump was likely my body trying to surround that piece of glass with scar tissue to make it easier to walk on, it didn't.
Recovery has been rough for a few reasons just one of them being that I am overweight withoutthe upper body strength to lift myself up from a sitting position to a standing position without the help of both legs. During recovery I can not put any of my weight on the left foot.
Walking is a big deal.
Amen? Yes, amen.
It never occured to me prior to surgery that I would need special support to get out of a chair, or use the restroom. I am so thankful for my devoted hubster who asked the right questions and within a few hours I had everything I needed. I am truly thankful.
During this time my garden hit harvest, thus the tomato aroma in my home, my son and daughter moved to Arizona, and my little dogs moved outside. There will be two more large changes in my future that the mere anticipation thereof has me up tomight.
My grandaughter will also be moving to Arizona. Andi was born just 30days before I was diagnosed with Breast cancer for the second time. As a chemo patient I can't tell you how amazing it was to hold her, kiss her little head and make her smile - it was life affirming love!
I got through treatment ~ she turned 1!
I got stronger and lost weight ~ she turned 2!
We all went through a family crisis ~ she turned 3!
Now, a new job, a new life, and she'll be so far away. Our friends may enjoy the break from weekly photo floods on facebook, but I will be trying to figure out how to take a screen shot of a skype conversation that made me cry. Because I will cry. I cried tonight.
God help me, I know there are people with problems that are real problems. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, family and friends. I am not afraid of being cold this winter, or of losing my house or having my car reposessed.
I am afraid of this feeling of not knowing who I am if I am not my kids' mom, or Andi's grandma. And yes, I know I am still those things but without the duties of either it seems empty today.
I am afraid I am now going to spend the rest of my years paying for taking improper care of this vessel, and that the price will be discomfort, embarrassment and likely pain.
So tonight, as the house is filled with the pungent aroma of slow cooked homegrown tomatoes, I am up. Sharing my thoughts with you.
I thought about flight today, and how it's so different from jumping. No matter how long you are in the air, or from what you have been launched, jumping is not flying. And, . .
No matter how short of a flight, it is flying when it has all the components of flight. The Wright brothers first flight was merely seconds, but boy it was quite different from a jump, it changed the world.
When we recognize the components of flight, in the simplest terms, as lift and drag, we can see how a jump attempts to have those, but always obtains them separately. When one is launched it is lift, then when gravity takes over it is drag.
But flight, oh flight is something different. Flight maintains both lift and drag simultaneously. The combination of the two creates flight. Take one away midflight and you might maintain "air" for a certain amount of time but just as in a jump you will begin to fall. You are no longer flying you are falling.
I am sure that I will discover more about flight as I ponder lift and drag but what I am seeing right now is: Both elements are needed to fly in this life. It is easy to think of things that can be analagous to drag: empty nesting, getting older, broken ankles, etc. Lift, I am not as sure, but admiting to my puny understanding I will say: worship, serving others, prayer, reading the bible, maybe even the smell of homegrown tomatoes becoming pasta sauce, and love.
Embrace the lift and drag of life with the right perspective and flight is achieved.
This I believe, thanks for reading, New Geri
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