PLATEAU

pla·teau/plaˈtō/   noun an area of fairly level ground verb reach a state of little or no change after a time of activity or progress     I have not read about or even heard of someone making this journey from obesity to a healthy weight without hitting a plateau. I am sure there are some and I am happy for them. Jealous, but not so much that I would give them regular frozen yogurt labeled non-fat, pfft, that would never even cross my mind if I wasnt trying to make YOU laugh.   I am an emotional eater. That is so easy to admit, but, no so easy to overcome. This journey is not just about weight. So many factors affect how my body responds to the food I eat, the choices I make when I eat, what time I eat. I have hit a plateau every time I have dieted, and went on to reach my goal, and I also have hit a plateau each time I gave up before NOT reaching my goal. What I know now is If I am to successfully, and permantly, change my eating and thereby change my health I must conquer my emotions.   A dysfunctional past, who doesn't have one?   So I ask myself: are there people who grow up crooked who eventually find a way out?   Basically I got out. I have a nearly 30 year marriage, two adult children - one attending college the other trained in the airline/hospitality industry - a home, and more "things" than I can take care of well.  I have a church that I enjoy, a Pastor I appreciate and trust. Seriously, doesn't that sound like I got out?   Then there is the flipside: I used to sing. I tell myself there are lots of reasons I stopped but one reason I tend to leave off the list is: vanity. I hate even writing that word. How in the world can a woman who is overweight, less than supermodel facial features, really big feet, oily skin, visibly thinning salt and pepper hair, . . . Do I need to go on? How can I be aware of all these things and be vain?   Pride is an interesting thing. I love Jesus. I love the stories of his miracles, of his selflessness, of how he remained silent until he spoke just the right words. I love worshipping Him in song. But when I was in front of the church I felt as I gained weight I was less and less affective. I made the transition to hiding behind the piano without actually realizing I was hiding behind the piano. Then I gained some confidence as the team leader and actually lost weight, even then I saw discipline with food as a integral part of being "usable" in God's kingdom. Why would someone like me think I could affect God's kingdom better or worse? Even Jesus, who could have boasted of his equality with God the Father, said,"I only do what the Father tells me to do". So the miracles, the wisdom, the loving the unloveable was all credited to the Father.   I have fasted, exercised, prayed, been "delivered" and forgiven. I have practiced and fallen short, failed to practice and soared effortlessly.  I've read books and filled out workbooks. I have listened to tapes and danced to videos, sometimes I did well, sometimes . . well, not so well.   One thing I know is I can not add to or take away from what God wants to do. At the same time I make choices each day that can affect my tomorrows. God very well knows what I will do - but doesnt make me do it.   Yes I want to look nicer. Yes, I want to be healthier. Yes I want to be stronger. Yes I miss singing.   I do not have to wait for the weight to change to start singing again. I can sing at church in the pews - and touch God's heart from there. I can sing at home - and touch God's heart from there. When I have an opportunity to sing "for others" even then I can touch God's heart from there. If indeed he has given me a gift, I can share it - no matter what I look like or how much I weigh. God gives the gift that can be shared to be shared. (How dissapointing to realize a gift is not being used.)   So what am I saying? I am on a plateau, it is fairly level ground, but it is higher ground. I am in a state of no change after a time of  progress. So While I am on this plateau I reach out to the God who neither holds a grudge for my  lack of progress nor is moved by the abundance of it, and He touches me right where I am. On a plateau.   APPLICATION: PLATEAU PLAN    1) I revisit the first few weeks of my weight watchers program and become more diligent in tracking, 2)  I add activity with a few walking goals, and 3)  I set time aside each day for music. And touch God's heart from there.   THANKS FOR READING