Killing Luigi

I am not a big "gamer".

I have not been very good at most video games.

I do remember an electronic football game coming out when I was in Junior college. It was handheld. It had these little red and blue lights that looked like dashes. The dashes were configured to represent offense and defense. I was pretty good at that by the male competitors I managed to SLAUGHTER! BWAHAHAHAHA!

But, alas, it wasn't Madden.

I remember playing Mario Bros/Duck hunt with my son when he was 3.

Three years old.

He couldn't tie his shoes yet.

He barely had the Velcro mastered.

I would sit down to play. Kill Luigi. He'd take a twenty minute turn. Then wake me up. I would take the controller. Kill Luigi. He'd yell, "Dad, mom's not playing right!"

I laugh now. But it hurt. So the first thing I tried was practicing when he wasn't around. Right, when is a three year old NOT around? And even when he wasn't around he could sense a disturbance in the force as soon as someone put the cartridge into the game console!

The next idea was to have another baby.Keep mama busy. It really was a great idea and it's worked out wonderfully, however, . . .it only kept me out of the game for so long. Then I learned: I needed to play games where I was playing against myself - like TETRIS.(WARNING I have long since suspected that the TETRIS music has some kind of hypnotic capabilities or that prolonged exposure could cause migraines) 

Competing against myself, I could go for a high score instead of beating an opponent. Okay, I really don't know what difference that makes but I just don't do well with head to head competition. I wish that wasn't true. I judge it in myself as immaturity and have often hoped I would just grow up someday.

I still do.

 Growing up requires a sort of unpacking at each level. I use the word level because it segways from video games nicely. It is not used as a higher-lower comparison as in: I am smarter, more spiritual or farther along than anyone.

I don't want to be too philosophical but sometimes material things hold you back and you have to let them go to move forward.

One time I had to sell my piano in order to have the full down payment on our next home. We were going to move one way or another but if I hadn't sold my piano - we would have been terribly crowded in the RV and deeper in debt. So to move forward "with peace" we had to let go of the piano.

Other times it's people.

******Reserve the right to refuse service to ANYONE******

I made vows to love ONE person for better or worse and it takes up most of my time energy and patience to keep THAT one set of vows. I didn't make a vow to the person  who antagonizes me into debates on truth and mysticism and whether or not eating meat is murder. UGH!

We both know we DO NOT AGREE on these points but that is ALL they want to talk about so . . .

Seriously, I wish I could calmly debate and argue using scripture without my blood pressure getting whacked out, and supplying extra oxygen to the part of my brain that creates sarcastic remarks and cutting retorts. I dislike myself when I get like that.

It's like the incredible hulk - "I won't like me when I'm angry" or frustrated or sarcastic and bitter - Hey feel free to stop me!

If they need me I'll be here. If they call I'll answer the phone.

But I can't engage anymore.

Right now.

Then there are the people who break my heart. The ones that are walking into a burning house - and I can't stop them. I want so to convince them going in is a bad idea but I know anything I say will offend.

I will be here with burn salve. I will help rebuild the house.

But I can't watch it burn.

It seems at each area of growth in my life, I have had to leave friends behind in order to go to the next area. It isn't always the kind of leaving behind that is permanent. For example when many of my high school friends went away to college I made new friends and didn't keep in close contact with the high school gang as much. But when we all started getting married and having babies I was getting calls for showers, and parties, and asked to sing at a fair amount of weddings. Friendships were re-kindled and maintained.

Obviously, those are the happy endings.

I expect there are other un-friendings that will be permanent. I can't imagine not being a little sad about that.

So tonight I am inspired because I un-friended someone on FB. And it feels great!!!

Maybe I could fast and pray because, "this kind only comes out after much prayer and fasting" . It's not like that is impossible - I know we have people in our paths that drive us to our knees.

ALL I AM SURE OF is that I felt a peace today that I have not felt for a long time.

To help emphasize the point I am trying to make I want to share the following encouragement:

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:

  Stay focused, and refuse to be scattered through trying to take on more than you can effectively handle. Take the time necessary to establish yourself in peace and tranquility so that the enemy cannot find an inroad. Confusion and chaos are the devil's playground, but I have given you the peace that surpasses all natural understanding. Settle down in the emotional and mental stability that I have provided, says the Lord.
Philippians 4:7b  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Romans 12: 18  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

As my friend (and Pastor) Brian, says,

"Peace"

VACATION

THE PLANE

Being over-weight causes many extra stresses when traveling. The aisles on a plane are small, narrow, and often crowded. If you are pulling a carry-on bag you must contort yourself into strange configurations in order to keep the wheels rolling smoothly. Then you must contort again to lift this bag above the heads of strangers (praying you do not drop it) into a luggage bin made for wallets not suitcases. Then once you have your bag hammered into place, you must crawl over someone to get to your seat either the center or the window - but most of the time the center. (I usually feel a bit like I committed adultery once seated)

The center is where you end up most of the time when you are overweight because this is where you will cause the most distress in the other passengers. The window passenger undoubtedly the bone thin vegetarian who hates sitting still for longer than 10 minutes at a time because it will alter their metabolism - will silently re-absorb any biological fluids because they know how futile it will be to ask the overweight person to move, causing the aisle person to move, clogging the beverage cart runway, just so they can get up to use the restroom. Both aisle passenger and window passenger refuse liquids to protect themselves from having to disturb the overweight passenger.

I hate having to ask for the extender for my seat belt. But I would die if they just handed it to me. That has never happened, thank God for that! The last time I flew, I just asked for it as discreetly as possible and went about my business like it didn't hurt my pride just shy of bleeding. This time after dropping 70lbs, I wasn't sure if I needed the extension or not.

Getting ready for the airport and for the trip itself has several considerations. Comfortable shoes, seasonally appropriate clothing, boredom prevention, make up, hair, liquid intake monitoring. Then all those considerations are modified in accordance with the TSA regulations to avoid embarrassment at the security check points. This was my first time through the X-ray. My new electronics earned me a personal encounter with a TSA agent. Sheesh. Live and learn - the agent told me how to avoid intimacy the next trip. Hey they are just doing their job, and I am glad they are - but sheesh.

While we were waiting at the gate they made an announcement that there were a few seats in first class available if any one in economy wanted to upgrade. by the time hubby got through the line there was only one seat left so he upgraded my ticket to first class. (Awwww) When I boarded and got in my seat I thought I wonder if the seat belts are different in first class - I tried to fasten it and I was able to just get it connected - but I was pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy the ride. So I asked for the extender. But I was happy to realize I only needed less than 2 inches to give me the comfort I needed. This maybe a small victory but I was excited.

I spent most of the vacation reading during the day, and going out for dinner with my hubby in the evening. The dinners were not lite, or fat free, or even small portions. However, they were delicious and having time with my sweetheart was wonderful.

We had a couple of busy days that included some walking - not much - but enough to make my feet swell and hurt. But mostly the vacation was rest and relaxation for me.

We had a bit of misadventure on the way home. Our flight was cancelled and we had to rebook another flight home. Barely making it on the last flight that day escaping the dreaded sleepover to fly out the next day. But, it was still 8hours in an airport where most of the seating outside the gate were either in restaurants or in front of slot machines. AAGH!

When we finally got aboard the plane, no first class this time, coach. Very coach. I mean there was nothing more "coach" on the plane! We were in seats so coach, they wouldn't lean back! Serving trays locked and seats in the upright position for 2 hours. But of course the row in front of us could put their seats back.

Yeah, you betcha.

But the real question was, "do I need the extender?" I was in the aisle seat - utopia for the overweight and tall people - I reached down to pull the right side of the seat belt up - carefully sliding my left hand down to gather the other end of the seat belt making a point of not obtaining carnal knowledge of the passenger in the center seat next to me. I pull the two pieces together and - VOILA!!!! Snap! together no need for the extender!!!

I don't know as of yet if I gained weight on this vacation, I may have. But what I do know is I did not need the extender on the way home. That means I have changed. I am a new Geri. And I am proud to celebrate changes - no matter how small!

UPDATE: I am excited to report that the scales did not change while I was on vacation enjoying myself. I wegh just what I weighed before I left! Yahoo!!!!